Useless Boy

It wasn't feeling so good tonight & went to bed quite early with only a sandwich to eat; Poor thing... The it-ess (The Girlfriend of an it!!) also wasn't well today after school.

Of course, if both of them are ill then serious questions about 'kissing' will be asked...

To be honest, it really isn't so good tonight. So I'll see if an early night has any effect in the morning, or if a day off school is required..

I think I'll show it this video tomorrow, to show where kissing girls get people!!!

As I was going to bed last night, I noticed people in my shed stealing things. I immediately, phoned the Police but was told no one was in the area to help. They said they would send someone over as soon as possible.

I hung up. A minute later I rang again. "Hello," I said, "I called you a minute ago because there were people breaking into my shed. You don't have to hurry now, because I've shot them."

Within minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, plus a Helicopter & an armed response unit. They caught the burglers red-handed.

One of the officers said: "I thought you said you'd shot them?"

To which I replied: "I thought you said there was no one available."

The Weekend before last I was on the AntiksMarkt, looking for bargains. I set off hoping to find a CD by Underworld. I came back with the CD, some African twirling sticks & a Classical Guitar. The Guitar was the big plus. I left my Guitar in England years ago & often thought about buying another. So 10€ for a Classical Guitar, only in need of tuning, was the bargain of the Century.

I arrived home, Tuned Guitar & hunted out some of my Music Books. My god was I rusty, but over the last week it has been coming back, little, by little.

It heard me playing & has started to jump on the Guitar most evenings. I showed him some parts of 'Allegro' by Giuliani. It has practiced almost every day, sometimes for hours. I've waited to see if the novelty wears off, as learning Classical Guitar is hard work. Lots of finger position practicing, lots of scales, lots of sore fingertips.

So now comes the decision... I spent lots of hours, over a long time learning to play Classical Guitar. I know the attention span of it (Slightly shorter than a Goldfish). It has kept with the practice, mentioning today about some Guitar lessons.

I know the importance of a Good teacher, if there is to be any hope of learning the basics well. So, do I look for someone qualified & hope the little idiot has the motivation to stick with it?

My feeling is Yes. Why not see if this is something that creates a spark!!

I've heard that teenage boys have periods where they grow & their body needs so much energy that they can be completely drained. At these times they can be slow to respond, they are constantly tired, they don't response to social stimuli, etc etc. I completely agree with this theory.. In the case of this useless boy, it started at age 10. And now, 5 years later, shows no sign of being over anytime soon.

Here is a typical 7.00am school morning.Will it ever be able to drag it's sorry arse out of the Bed in a morning? If it was wired up to one of those machines I'm sure it would register absolutely zero Brain activity, not a sausage!!.

What is that saying ?...

"The Lights are ON, but no-one is at home!!"

Birgit doesn't like photos of herself! This is something we definitely have in common.

If you hear "She would kill me if I posted a photo of her" you probably are thinking....Oh yes, she would be very very angry. That doesn't even come close!! "She would kill me" means she really would inflict serious physical harm, that may (50:50) result in my death...

So I will post no photos...

However, nothing was said about cartoons, or other non-photographic-Artistic methods. I do think this is quite a reasonable stab at her .. the Red hair, freckles, Beer & Cig are a dead giveaway..

Isn't she lovely?

"Beach Birgit"

Hannover96 beat Hamburg HSV 2:1 tonight. So they move up a place in the table to number 8.

I just had to watch the hi-lights again on the TV

The "Scheiß Bayern"(See Note) were held to a draw in Berlin yesterday evening.. All in all not a bad week for Football.

Note, Scheiß Bayern (Shit Bayern) is the friendly name given to Bayern München. These are the German equivalent of Man Utd. They have fans over the whole country, many don't know where in the country the Stadium is, having never been to a Football game!!

Birgit sometimes gets a little upset with me when I don't like to talk long on the Phone...

Fact is, I really don't like talking on the Phone, never have. I like to see peoples faces, their expressions, especially their eyes. I watch the shifting of body position, a hundred little movements people make when they have a conversation. On the phone these are missing.

OK, on the phone many clues are still there to give the feelings of the other person. The pauses, sighs, the words they use, lots of clues! but I still don't like it..

But Birgit is a new level!!!

I'm English & she German, in normal conversation we speak a special mixture of the two languages. somethings are better said in one language, or the other. Sometimes German has a single 'nice' word for an English phrase, & sometimes English is better to describe a situation. This works most of the time. However, when things are important she drops into 100% German & I into 100% English. (People listening can be amazed that we appear to have two conversations running, in two languages).

So, on the phone where all the visual clues are missing & we are listening to each other in our second language. The subtle pauses, sighs, faster, slower, higher pitched, low etc etc to say 'Joke', 'Love' etc etc are missed. It's amazing how much difference this can make. So for a person who is natural 'phonephobic' it can be a nightmare..

A few days ago Wulfweard the White posted a link to a little program that could make Anagrams. So, naturally its name was entered... I can't believe how good one of the results is..

Acne-ridden Flaw

A 15 year old boy... How cool is that?

This post is a little 'Off-topic' for me. I don't involve myself in Politics & world affairs here. However, on this occassion I will allow myself to 'spill-over' from my life on other Blogs.

This is a continuation of a comment on here. This is a "real" experienced by me, not an opinion. It happened shortly before the 'last' Invasion of Iraq....

Firstly, an interesting fact to set the scene:

There is a little town in the North of Germany called "Weize" in 1851 they drilled, & struck Oil. This was more than 1 year earlier than in Texas. So the Oil industry was born there. Today they don't get Oil from Wieze, but it is still a big Oil company area. Most of the American firms have a presence there.

Now, the Story:

At the time I was employed in this area by one of the large American companys to develop an underwater drilling & production system. In the same town was a rather large Halliburton factory. The Oil industry is like a small town, so in a small town it's like a little family. So we hear Haliburton has secured prime Oil contracts in Iraq. The other companies (American companies) haven't got a look-in.

Thing is, America is not in Iraq. Mr.B is talking of Mr.S's Weapons of Mass destruction. But here we have contracts signed & ready to go. Haliburton has ramped production & everything is prepared, all the equipment etc etc.. Still no invasion.

The point is.. The Invasion was decided long before. It was a big disappointment, there being no weapons. Too much 'Big' business had everything organised & was on-board.. It was a giant machine that couldn't be stopped.

Even now companies cannot get contracts in Iraq. There are suppliers that cannot get contracts. Their equipment is better, more efficient & a fraction of the price paid to the American companies supplying Iraq. These same American companies are controlling the contracts to rebuild Iraq.

My opinion:

This is Iraq's own money being used to rebuild the country. This comes from the profits left after the unrealistic costs of American controlled Oil Production. If Iraq money is funding this, should it not be ALL suppliers that are considered?

Thats All.. Unimportant posts resume tomorrow..

Please read my last post about the Daily Dancer.

I am not exactly positive about the Daily Dancer in my post (Although he really does continually entertain me). So what does he do? Visits this Blog & leaves a really nice comment.

What a nice guy... As a little Thank-you, It & me have decided we will do a tribute to the Daily Dancer. We will video a dance & send him it...

Any suggestions for a Song?

Anyone seen the Daily Dancer?

This Guy must be one of the Internets biggest wierdo's. I don't know why? but we can't stop visiting, every few days, to see if the "Madness" is continuing.

What does he do? .. He films a Dance in his flat several times a week. He also takes requests, sometimes films in a friends (much bigger) house & also accepts 'Guest' dancers. I can't believe he can do this week, after week, after week... But he does!!

So far this all sounds OK, a Guy dancing.. Why not? Problem is... "He can't Dance for Toffee!!".

If you look through some of the older stuff you'll also find out that he also can't sing. This Guy makes it & me laugh. We are addicted...

Todays Dance is the Wham hit.. "Wake me up, before you Go-Go"

What do you think??

Todays plan was for It to go to the Cinema with the Three Girls.

However, as the day progressed various obsticles appeared, which forced some changes to the plan. As the day progressed, each of the Girls became unavailable. This turned out to be pretty lucky, as it later realised 'the funds' were standing at zero until 'Friday-receive-dads-handout-day' comes around.

So it has spent this evening sitting in the Flat. Going absolutely nowhere! Arhhhh, how sad!

Still, this imprisonment presented the opportunity for it to locate the missing Mobile phone!! The Mobile apparently went missing while it slept! The Mobile was next to the Bed in the evening, but was gone the following morning? Dad's suggestion of "Why don't you ring it?" was deemed not possible as the 'Stupid Phone' had decided to, spontaneously, turn the sound OFF & the Vibrate ON. Maybe you doubt this?, I don't. If it can turn the Sound Off, & On, then the Mobile (Which has a far greater IQ) must be capable.

So we needed a Solution!
The solution was so simple... Let's keep ringing the Mobile while "Berlin's Idiot" puts its head against various pieces of furniture, the Walls, the Floor to detect any micro-Vibrations!!!

Did it work? surprisingly, It did!!

And where was the phone?

Down the back of the Sofa, of course, it walked there during the night!!

I was out the Flat early this morning, by the time I left Birgit's & attended my evening class it was just before 10pm when I got home.

The smell in the Flat was overpowering. Perfume, Perfume, Perfume!!

I asked it who had been in with so much perfume? It said "Dunno!". This I assumed was it being the normal "Useless Boy". So I followed up with "of course you know! You were here!, Don't be so stupid!"

Turns out he didn't know because there were three Girls in the flat at various times of the day. Next time I go out, I must remember not to mention that I will be back late!

Try this yourself...

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